Skip to main content

Mine or World's

"Maana ke dosto ko Nahi dosti ka lihaaj.
Ye Kya baat ki ghair ka ehsaan lijiye."
[Agreed that friends (dear ones) no longer held the relationship as sacrosanct.
That's no excuse to sought favours of strangers.]

At some point in time, some line, some couplet, some stanza of some song smacks you right in between the eyes.

I had never sought favours of strangers. Whenever one has de-sanctified the uniqueness of a relationship, I have installed loneliness in its place.

One day all the rooms of my building will be occupied by loneliness. That seems certain.

But after all I have done for the loneliness, living for it every moment, giving away my nights to it every night, maybe bleed for it. Maybe by then I will own the right to the loneliness. And call it my loneliness. And not share it with the world.

Yes, I wanted it to be in a relationship. But at least loneliness, my loneliness, just mine.

I want to be an antique,archaic, trifle, or trash, whatever but in a home. I never would be an exhibit in a line of curios in the most famous museum of all.

I'm just a homebody, looking to build a family. And families are not shared with the world.

Popular posts from this blog

They Don't Fit in the Pocket

I must have been in Class 7 when I read my first Hindi pulp fiction. It was a novel named Sile Huye Honth (Sewn Lips). The hero of the novel was Major Balwant who was a private detective and I had smuggled the thin book out of Dad's trunk of books. It was supposed to be out of my reach but I managed to get it out. So, I had to turn criminal to get to read my first Hindi detective novel. The name of the author was Colonel Ranjit but I didn't know that it was the pen name of Maqbool Jallandhry. I don't remember the names of the members of Balwant's team. But I remember that he had a dog whose name was Crocodile. The other thing I remember very well is about the monthly newspaper bill. There was this book stall near the bus stand from where I used to take a bus on my way back from school. Our household newspaper used to come from there. At the beginning of a month, Dad or Mom would settle the bill for the previous month - which would be roughly 100 to 120. But the next mon…

Gift from My Little Angel

Towards the last quarter of 2013, I had decided to quit my job to focus on my writing. I already had a plot of a novel in my mind. All I wanted to do is write it in peace, away from the grinds of daily routine.
                   I had started buying the books I thought I needed for researching the background of my story. And I found most of the books I was looking for.
                   At the office, I had put down my papers and had started serving out my notice period.
                   That Monday morning, I was just preparing the files that I need to share with the team for knowledge transfer that day. When I got a call from the Mailroom – which handles the deliveries of couriers inside the company campus – I was a little surprised. I have not ordered anything – which basically means books – in the last few days. And I did not remember anyone telling me of anything that they had couriered to me.
                    I went down to the Mailroom to collect it. After signing for i…

The Devotion of Suspect X

To start with a confession, this review is overdue. It is for the fact that I had had to read this novel cover to cover twice. Then only I could pick up my keyboard to type a review.

Now that I am starting the post, I am a bit apprehensive.

What do you write about a book of which 2 million copies have already sold, based on which there is already a cult movie in Japanese and whose author is hailed as the Japanese Stieg Larsson. What more is there to write then?

Let me start gently with the bare facts of the novel.
Yasuko is a divorced mother with a teenage daughter Misako and working in a small food shop. Not yet free from the shadows of her past, her ex-husband keeps on harassing her for money while she keeps on changing her job and household to escape him. But on his latest harass trip, Yasuko bravely stands up to him refusing to pay him any more. So, to further harass the mother and daughter, he turns up at her home. And in the ensuing struggle, he is killed by them.
All this happens i…